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REVIEW: The Hitman’s Bodyguard

Review by Dustin Heller

The Hitman’s Bodyguard is the new action comedy from the director of The Expendables 3, Patrick Hughes.  The movie stars Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson in the lead roles with support coming from Gary Oldman, Élodie Yung and Salma Hayek.  The Hitman’s Bodyguard is rated R for strong violence and language throughout.

A Russian dictator is being tried for his heinous crimes at the International Court of Justice and the only person with evidence to prove his guilt is Darius Kincaid, a notorious hitman who is currently imprisoned in the UK.  Interpol is tasked with transporting him to the court, but when things go awry, he is left under the protection of his mortal enemy, Michael Bryce, who happens to be private bodyguard.  The two have a tumultuous relationship, but they must work together in order to stay alive and make it to the court before it’s too late.

The Hitman’s Bodyguard brings absolutely nothing new to the table and feels like the same movie we’ve seen a hundred times before.  The studio must be banking on the two stars to sell tickets, because I’m sure they know this is a clunker as well.  One thing I’ve learned over the years is that people like to laugh (especially at the movies), but when almost every single laugh comes from someone using the “F” word, that is a problem and that is not comedy.  I guess it should be expected to a certain extent with both of the leads being known for their foul language in movies, but don’t make that the punchline of every joke–that’s just lazy and unintelligent writing.

Speaking of the leads, Reynolds and Jackson do have some chemistry together and they are fun to watch at times, but even they couldn’t overcome this terrible script.  As for the action, it’s really not too bad, but the problem lies with believability.  I get it, this is a movie and its’ not supposed to be real life, but so many of the things that go down in this movie feel like they should be in a Looney Tunes cartoon.  For example, the bad guys probably shoot a couple thousand bullets at the good guys without connecting on one whereas our heroes seem to never miss.

For me to sum up The Hitman’s Bodyguard is pretty simple: a mildly entertaining movie with a lot of cursing and a lot of dead bodies.  Take my word for it and please don’t waste your money by seeing this at the theater.

Grade:  D+

The Hitman’s Bodyguard opens in theaters on Friday, August 18

You can follow Dustin Heller on Instagram @eatindywatchindie