Neckbeard: “The lush main just below the chin that ties the rugged facial features together.”
If you’re familiar with the term, you probably know about the Captain Andrew Luck Twitter account.
What you might not know a lot about is the man behind that glorious, bearded curtain, if you will.
Set in the Civil War era, tweets from the account are letters to the “dearest mother” of a Captain Andrew Luck, who has been tirelessly leading his unit into battle.
Dearest mother —
I intend to leave Europe soon. I believe I found what I sought. Just how luscious my neckbeard shall become, only time will tell. I hope to be back with my unit before the Titan men attack the camp. My feet ache, but my spirit soars.
— Andrew— Capt. Andrew Luck (@CaptAndrewLuck) November 21, 2017
If you couldn’t figure it out, it’s a parody Twitter account of Colts quarterback Andrew Luck.
Since the account’s first tweet on June 29, 2016, it’s gained quite the reputation on the internet, with over 108,000 followers.
Thankfully, Captain Andrew Luck took some time off from marching and an excursion in Europe to talk to FOX59. And for efficiency purposes, we used the acronym CAL to refer to the beloved Captain. He’s used to only having 140 characters, mind you.
The anonymous mind behind the witty brilliance describes himself as simply, “a West Coast journalist.”
And while he’s never actually met Andrew Luck’s real mother, you can see he definitely has fun with it.
Dearest mother —
Please knit our sniper, Sgt. Vinatieri, a squirrel fur sweater. I wish to thank him properly for our victory.
— Andrew— Capt. Andrew Luck (@CaptAndrewLuck) October 8, 2017
He got the idea from the place most great ideas come from: the internet.
“I happened upon some silly sports memes a few years back… and among the pro athletes photoshopped was Luck in Civil War attire,” he said. “I thought that image was hilarious and began sending texts to pals as CAL after games. One of them said I should start a parody account… so I did.”
The mysterious man is also a huge history buff. He said he studied history in college, along with journalism.
“I always found the Civil War fascinating!” he said.
Fitting.
While he has no direct Indiana ties, he has formed some with Colts fans that have reached out to him, appreciating his humor in this very sad, sad season.
“It has just been gaining speed like crazy,” he said. “I’m shocked it has grown so large, but it’s very cool how much people seem to enjoy it. This season has been tough, so I hope it has offered a little levity.”
We also got to ask some questions about CAL himself. Such as his favorite pre-battle meal.
“He eats whatever his dear mother sends him… which always seems to be something outrageous,” he said. “I will say squirrel oil is popular with CAL, and fans just love when it’s mentioned.”
Dearest mother —
I have received word from the unit your care package to me arrived. I informed the men they may enjoy the dried chipmunk bites and salted fox thighs as I am still in Europe, helping my neckbeard find its way. I miss you.
— Andrew— Capt. Andrew Luck (@CaptAndrewLuck) November 15, 2017
Of course we asked the obvious: Will the mysterious man ever reveal his identity?
“Nah,” he said. “I think it takes something away from it. The account has taken on a life of its own, and I am cool with that.”
And even though this season may not have been the greatest, Captain Andrew Luck wanted to share a message to any disheartened fans.
“Always have faith in the men!”